where to find me

i am the purple blossoms clustering in the back of your yard,
over a body
wrapped and buried in your grief
i am a wave falling into the tide
and pulling back from you,
still water, just no longer
your height

don’t doubt reincarnation
when conservation of matter lets
me grow out of the ground, lets me
sprout into colored flowers
returned to you again
all I know is when
you give everything into a separate vessel,
you will become interchangeable.

i am your fed, devoted,
your fallen short and loved
and surged and wilted and returned.

gather my pieces into amethyst blooms ,
toss remorseful stones into my lazy ocean,
it is your turn to choose my next form.
i am nowhere
until you choose to find me there.

philanthropy, again, for me
make of loss your manmade manfound beauty
rewrite me, fight me, knowing I have no right
to refute you
the view from halfway down might be blurry
but from my perspective now I need not hurry

write poems about my missing beat
in your rhythmic symphony
tear up at the word goodbye
but promise one day you’ll smile

at the thought of me
because no matter how much I want to go
i need your blessing
because no matter how sure I act
i’ll keep on guessing
because you can find me where
i can’t find myself
because you can find me in water and flowers and words
and asking the ones left with you to ask for help

i am nowhere until you choose to find me there,
i am nowhere until you choose to find me there.

i am nowhere until you choose to find me there.